Lets Talk About Sex: Sex After Baby

My personal experience. 
**Mature Audience and their maybe some TMI's. Read at your own risk!**

SEX after A BABY (the beginning)! After you have your 6 pounder (in my case), you're like their is no way possible that my vagina is going back to it's original size. I mean don't people say if a girl has too much sex, she's loose. So why after a baby would it just go back to a "normal" size... But don't worry guys, IT DOES. Giving birth puts a lot of pressure right by where the vagina meets the anus, called "perineum" because it is stretching for the head to come through, so in a lot of cases it'll tear or like in my case the doctor will have to give you an episiotomy (makes a cut to make a wider opening). So can you only imagine? And then she stitched me up (the stitches dissolve on their own after about 2-3 weeks). That's just the beginning. After postpartum the doctor recommends waiting 6 weeks (yes, a month and some weeks) before having sex again. It really wasn't an issue for me, because well quite frankly I wasn't in the mood. My vagina just gave birth to a human, I am healing. My sex drive was kaaaa-plunk. BUT my husband's wasn't. You WOULD think after everything he saw.. Yes, he watched the entire process of giving birth, and taking the placenta out. He saw it! But that sure didn't change his view on me and sex. I think that we waited until about 3 weeks to try and I still wasn't in the mood, but I also don't like to disappoint my husband in his time of need. So... we attempted it. AND HOLY MOLLIE!

It was so painful. Like bitting down, tears coming out of my eyes.... PAINFUL. I was not ready. It couldn't even go in all the way, like I'm sure it was because I wasn't healed all the way. We waited awhile, and then tried again, and it just didn't work for me AT ALL. It hurt like a motherfu****. 

MONTHS, YES months go by, and we are still having sex, but it's so uncomfortable that I am actually saddened that I don't enjoy sex. I remember like 3 months after giving birth, I am just like my vagina should be back to normal. It shouldn't be unbearable! Like what if I never have a sex drive again. Sometimes, my husband would have his doubts that it was about him, but it wasn't. I was still attracted to my husband, and him telling me he was turned on, was a turn on, but the vagina was just "off". It didn't give a damn about anyone else, and thinking about my husband getting between my legs just scared me each time because I knew what the pain was like. 

After six months, it started to get back to normal. When the doctor says "wait 6 weeks", I think what they really meant was months. I finally had a sex drive. I could enjoy it. 

Aren't you exhausted? Friends would ask. But my child slept through the night since we brought her home from the hospital. She was on a schedule, so I got really lucky on my Angel. We didn't/ don't let having a baby get between our sex life. Ask me in about 10 more years. ;)

But if you are having a hard time having sex after a baby, I would say don't rush it. I really would talk to my husband and tell him my concerns. We tried different positions, foreplay... Stuff that really did help me to get turned on, and help get through sex. And really make sure you are lubricated! If you don't think you're ready, hold off, and come back to it another day/ week/ month. You know your body the best! Also after 6 weeks, you should make a doctors appointment for postpartum and share any concerns with him/ her. 

Question of the day:

Do I want another child? If so, when?!!

More like question of the century... The thought of having another baby kind of makes me cringe, but also brings a lot of love in my heart. I really can't explain it. My daughter has changed me into a person I never thought I'd be. Being a mother is the best thing that has happened to me. I love her from the bottom of my heart... To the top!

There are days where I'm just laying on the couch, binge watching on Netflix, and I start to wish I have a baby sleeping on my chest... My one year old doesn't do it anymore, and lets be honest, she's a toddler, no longer a baby. So, I start having baby fever (for all the good stuff that comes with it). But when I really think about it, I can't even imagine going back to day one of having a child. 

Buuuuuuut YES! I do want another child, but the when is really the true question. I am not on birth control, but my husband and I do use protection! But I swear every month, I am counting down the days until my next period, TERRIFIED of not getting it and then ending up pregnant. I swear my stomach will make a certain feeling, where I am like "oh shit, there's a baby in there". Or I'll be nauseated for days, and then I'm googling away online of symptoms (like I don't know what they are).  

I have 4 other siblings, and we are all close in age 26,25,24,(soon to be) 23,21 <--- Me. I don't know how my mom did it, but she did... And I guess I know how it feels to be close to your sister. We got to play barbies and play teacher, our bond is like no other and I want my daughter to have the same. A sister or a brother that she can tell things to that you necessarily don't want to tell your parents. Sad, but true. But then again, my husband has 3 other siblings, and they aren't necessarily close in age, 23 (him), 18, (soon to be) 10, 8. Big difference, and he thinks it's perfect even though they don't have anything in common because of the HUGE age gap.

My husband wants us to wait like 10 years, haha. Only because he's the man of the household, and makes the $$$$. So he feels the pressure to want to give us the best life possible. We also just love our trio. We can afford anything that we want (with reason). We have a great life, and at our age, we our stable with our one child. We also want to travel! We are going to Oregon in 2 weeks, and plan on going to Dubai next year! I can't imagine having another child at this point in our life. I am also going to school (ALL ONLINE), so I personally would like to wait until I at least have a degree in education.

If I did get pregnant in the next 0-4 years, the pros outweigh the cons, and I know my motherly instinct would kick right in and I'd love it! TEAM BOY so I can get my tubes tied.