Lets Talk About Sex: Sex After Baby

My personal experience. 
**Mature Audience and their maybe some TMI's. Read at your own risk!**

SEX after A BABY (the beginning)! After you have your 6 pounder (in my case), you're like their is no way possible that my vagina is going back to it's original size. I mean don't people say if a girl has too much sex, she's loose. So why after a baby would it just go back to a "normal" size... But don't worry guys, IT DOES. Giving birth puts a lot of pressure right by where the vagina meets the anus, called "perineum" because it is stretching for the head to come through, so in a lot of cases it'll tear or like in my case the doctor will have to give you an episiotomy (makes a cut to make a wider opening). So can you only imagine? And then she stitched me up (the stitches dissolve on their own after about 2-3 weeks). That's just the beginning. After postpartum the doctor recommends waiting 6 weeks (yes, a month and some weeks) before having sex again. It really wasn't an issue for me, because well quite frankly I wasn't in the mood. My vagina just gave birth to a human, I am healing. My sex drive was kaaaa-plunk. BUT my husband's wasn't. You WOULD think after everything he saw.. Yes, he watched the entire process of giving birth, and taking the placenta out. He saw it! But that sure didn't change his view on me and sex. I think that we waited until about 3 weeks to try and I still wasn't in the mood, but I also don't like to disappoint my husband in his time of need. So... we attempted it. AND HOLY MOLLIE!

It was so painful. Like bitting down, tears coming out of my eyes.... PAINFUL. I was not ready. It couldn't even go in all the way, like I'm sure it was because I wasn't healed all the way. We waited awhile, and then tried again, and it just didn't work for me AT ALL. It hurt like a motherfu****. 

MONTHS, YES months go by, and we are still having sex, but it's so uncomfortable that I am actually saddened that I don't enjoy sex. I remember like 3 months after giving birth, I am just like my vagina should be back to normal. It shouldn't be unbearable! Like what if I never have a sex drive again. Sometimes, my husband would have his doubts that it was about him, but it wasn't. I was still attracted to my husband, and him telling me he was turned on, was a turn on, but the vagina was just "off". It didn't give a damn about anyone else, and thinking about my husband getting between my legs just scared me each time because I knew what the pain was like. 

After six months, it started to get back to normal. When the doctor says "wait 6 weeks", I think what they really meant was months. I finally had a sex drive. I could enjoy it. 

Aren't you exhausted? Friends would ask. But my child slept through the night since we brought her home from the hospital. She was on a schedule, so I got really lucky on my Angel. We didn't/ don't let having a baby get between our sex life. Ask me in about 10 more years. ;)

But if you are having a hard time having sex after a baby, I would say don't rush it. I really would talk to my husband and tell him my concerns. We tried different positions, foreplay... Stuff that really did help me to get turned on, and help get through sex. And really make sure you are lubricated! If you don't think you're ready, hold off, and come back to it another day/ week/ month. You know your body the best! Also after 6 weeks, you should make a doctors appointment for postpartum and share any concerns with him/ her.